I usually get the question “Kainoa, how are you so happy?” I could never really answer that question because the story was too long to tell. But as a child I always looked up to my older sister, Kiana. Kiana was always the person that stood out. Everything she did in life, she had everyone’s attention. Being her brother, I did everything she did basketball, baseball, etc. Since I never had really had a “father figure” I used her. Mainly because she was more of a boy then a girl when we were younger. She was a tough aggressive player, making her stand out. I used her as role model because I wanted the same attention. But being the person I was, I was usually pushed off to the side. I was the person that everyone criticized and forgot about. I mentally felt alone.
I was felt like this my entire life but I never told anyone. I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me. I questioned myself “What am I doing wrong?” “Why can’t people treat me like her?” These questions were never answered until the day I stopped caring. When I entered the 7th grade, I met a woman who changed my life. Her name was Kumu Hina. She was my hula/Hawaiian teacher. One of the main things she said to us before we danced or chanted was “don’t care about what other people think of you” She couldn’t stress this enough. Throughout middle school she taught me not care what other people think. She showed me a door into my life. I was no longer trying to be like Kiana. Not only did I find myself but also I became a better person. I learned to see the perspective of different people. This trait allowed me to find the positive from every situation, especially my past.
When you find yourself, you also find your passion. Mine was surfing. I didn’t need people’s attention and I didn’t care what people said about me. I did it purely out of love. I woke up at 6 every morning just to surf. When you’re alone in the water, you start to notice more than just the waves. You start to observe everything from the tides to what lies underneath yourself. This trait carried on to my daily routine. I noticed a lot of little things about people, the negative and positive. I could tell when someone’s being serious or if I’m taking a joke to far. I taught myself about limits. When I should say something or if I should keep my mouth shut.
High school was when I finally got the attention I always wanted. But by then, I didn’t want it. I was accompanied by loneliness for to long. That feeling of being independent sunk in to my skin and I didn’t know how to handle the attention. I was used to doing everything by myself. But when the new traits kicked in, I realized that all I needed to be was humble and take the help if I needed it.
All these different periods in my life showed me that there is always something good in a depressing situation. The way you find it is completely how you handle it. You could cry and ask why or you can search for the good and just be ok with what has happen. I was able to learn to balance to good and the bad, Now that I’ve learned to do this, life is easier and I couldn’t be happier.
