Friday, August 17, 2012

1st draft

        Poi was one of a Hawaiian’s main dish for anytime off the day. In the ancient times, a Hawaiian ate 8 pounds of poi a day. Poi was an ideal food because poi never spoils and taro doesn’t grow from seeds. So if you lived on an island you have an unlimited amount of food.
  Poi is very special in my family. We only eat during special events like at parties and family gatherings. The last time I had poi was at my uncle’s funeral. We usually buy poi at the market but the traditional way is better. The poi you buy at the market is processed but the traditional way involves a pohaku (rock) and a wooden board. I like the traditional way is better because not that much people still pound poi.
  I interviewed my friend that pounds poi , his name is uhi. He lives in Ko’olauloa part of the island. I asked  “ why is poi purple ?” He said “ Poi is purple because of the type of taro you use” I then asked “Why does he does this?” he answered saying “ He does this because  the culture is dying “ He then went on and explained that  its important to keep the culture strong because if you don’t thousands of years of teachings will be lost. 

3 comments:

  1. I think that the essay stands out because of the questions that you asked your friend. I like your essay because the way you compared the traditional way of making poi and buying in off the market

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really liked your closing sentence that teaches lessons to the present and upcoming generations. Watch out though! You had quite a lot of spelling/punctuation errors that made reading the sentence kind of difficult or just didn't flow with the words. Make a good revision, and you'll have a very good final! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. You need to put why poi is so special to you. Yes you eat it at family gatherings but why did you choose to discus this dish. Also, your interview needs to be somehow worked into your story (maybe you like poi because it has history and then work your friend's answers in), if not don't use it. Don't just state "I interviewd my friend". You need to work his quotes into the essay. Please add more personal connection to it, because without your own emotions there is not voice.

    also, read over your essay explain it more you said you ate it at your uncle's funeral but when exactly was that. Also watch out for sentence error "We only eat during special events" does that mean you never eat except on special events. what are you talking about.

    ReplyDelete