Education is the key component for
a child’s future. The purpose of education is to teach skills and knowledge for
the child’s adult life. One of the main subjects is History. Though some students dislike the subject, its
one of the most fundamental subjects. History is important mostly because you need
to know about your past before you move on to the future. It is also important because without knowing
your history you have no knowledge of how you came to be. Learning about your
History can also help you in future situations. Reading though history books,
you may come across situations that you could relate to. Like every story, there’s
always an ending and that ending could give you a solution to your problem.
Reading though history will help you become a critical thinker. Being a great
critical thinker with help save lives, countries, and cultures. For example the
fight for Hawaiian land is giving students a chance to give their personal
thoughts on should be done.
Students during this generation are
faced with the reality of what’s right and what’s wrong. As the fight for
Hawaiian land becomes more intense, education is put at the mercy of a single
signature. Hawaiian Charter Schools is the education that is being endangered
of being getting shut down. Hawaiian Charter School’s, are Hawaiian based
schools that go really into depth of what really happened in the years of our
ancestors. These schools are what keeping the Hawaiian culture alive by
teaching the next generation, thousands and thousands of years of sacred dances
and chants. With different laws being passed and taxes being raised, it becomes
harder to keep these schools alive.
Hawaiian Charter Schools were
created for children that look forward to learn about the Hawaiian Culture.
Students learn everyday subjects with the Hawaiian Culture incorporated with
it. With this value, students can combine everyday situations with what they’ve
learned in school. This provides more critical thinking students, which can help
with solving problems in a more fair and safe way. Hawaiian Charter Schools
also practice Hawaiian traditions like sailing, hula, and chanting. This helps
students become more disciplined and respectful of there surroundings. With
every word and every step, there is a meaning behind it. Allowing students to
be more knowledgeable about there surroundings.
Simple words like “Pono” and
“Laulima” go very far in the Hawaiian Culture. Pono means righteousness and
laulima means many hands. The definition doesn’t sound like much but when you
go more deep into finding a meaning for the words, you discover more then what
you are looking for. When you live with a pono attitude, you start to change
the attitude of the people that you encounter. When these people start to live
the life of being pono then more and more people become pono as well. Its
amazing how simple words can make such a huge impact on peoples lives.
Its not what you educate people
about, its how you do it. Different techniques of teaching can determine what
the student gets out of it. If you can manage to teach the heart of student,
then they’ll actually take what they’ve learned and want to learn more. In my
opinion, it’s like a spark, its starts off small, but give it time and it’s
turns into a fire.
You explain a lot about children's education and how the problem with the land is affecting them which is good. The topic about how Hawaiian charter schools teach kids the regular subjects but also with some of the Hawaiian culture. I could easily understand what you were trying to say in your rough draft.
ReplyDeleteYou need to avoid being a bit too "fluffy" in your introduction. Meaning trying to discuss a topic just to take up space. It is okay to talk about the importance of education in the first two sentences but that is it. Discuss more about the education of hawaiian land and culture instead. REMEMBER YOU NEED EVIDENCE/FACTS IN YOUR BODY PARAGRAPHS. FOLLOW THE CHUNKY FORMAT. Also, you discussed hawaiian charter schools in two body paragraphs, limit it to one and be more detailed. You keep saying how students learn so much, but what exactly are they learning, do the research and share your findings. Your last body paragraph is very disconnected, it sounds more like you are teaching us what the two words mean instead of discussing hawaiian land education. Again it is hard to see where you discussed hawaiian land "affecting" education, whatever that actually means. Please make the changes, make it clearer, and the subtopic prevalent. AS(2)
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